You’re always listening to your inner critic. The little voice in your head. You know the one. The one that can be negative. The one that tells you that you can’t do something. That you’re not good enough. That you haven’t got what it takes. That you could fail.
While the intentions of your inner critic are positive – your inner voice also holds you back. It makes you play small.
“Be careful how you talk to yourself because you are listening” Lisa M Hayes.
- You were more capable than you thought?
- You could achieve more than you thought?
- You couldn’t fail?
What would you do instead?
Joe was confident until it came to working with his intimidating boss. In managing up, he was filled with self-doubt about his leadership style and worried that he didn’t have what it took to lead his team. Once he realised he needed to improve his self-image through his self-talk, his relationships with others changed for the better too.
Your little voice is the relationship you have with you
We are our own worst critic. I bet you find it easier to judge and criticise yourself than to praise and acknowledge yourself.
Here’s how to change your inner critic:
- Stop waiting to become empowered
- Stop trying to overcome your weaknesses or flaws. Stop trying to be good enough.
- Stop trying to hide in busyness and behind ‘stuff’
- Stop chasing something new thinking it will solve something
All of these strategies are flawed.
You can empower you right now
If you want something to change, then the change needs to start with you and how you speak to yourself.
1. Decide to be good enough.
Focus on making progress and improving, rather than not being good enough. Feel worthiness rather than shame. Find something every day to acknowledge yourself for.
2. Tell yourself that you can
Remember a time in the past when you went for it. If you did it then, then you can now.
3. Stop making it about you
You don’t need to always be right or have the right answer. What if you were others focused instead of self-focused? What difference can you make to others and why does that matter?
4. Bring your best self
Because no one else can. You have the resources you need. You have what it takes. You just need to believe in the best version of you, right now.
5. Be kind and generous – to you
The only way you’re going to change the relationship you have with you is to come from a place of kindness and generosity. You can only give others, what you’re prepared to give to yourself.
6. Be you
Figure out what makes you, you. The more you know you, like you, accept you and trust you, the more authentic you can be. People want to see the real you. The part of you that is quirky, nerdy or whatever. Be vulnerable, be different. Have the courage to be you.
Bringing it all together
The bottom line is – there is a much bigger person inside of you than you give yourself credit for. When you learn to master your inner critic: the bigger, bolder, and braver version of you, you can be.
What are you going to do to change what your little voice tells you about you? I promise that when you improve the conversation, everything will change.